Hope.

Am I the only one who, at times, finds more honest encouragement from songs not written by "Christian" musicians but by those who don't know Christ? There are certainly songs written about hope by Christian artists, but oftentimes they don't touch the deep places in our hearts. Is it that we feel like, as Christians, we can't touch the deepest places inside of us because we aren't supposed to feel those feelings? I am just wondering. I realize that people could give me scores of Christian songs that they have found hope in. I am simply saying, that at times, there seems to be a deeper honesty in music that is not written by followers of Christ. This doesn't come from a pent up frustration towards Christian music. It simply comes out of my reflection of listening to music the last 10-15 minutes. But there have been other 10-15 minutes intervals that have informed this thought as well... Any thoughts?

Wanted to Share A Poem

I'm reading a text for my masters and came across this poem...


Earth is crammed with heaven
And every common bush afire with God;
But only he who sees takes off his shoes,
The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries.

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Morning

The sun is coming up. The hope of a new day. Breakfast. Morning. The beams of sunlight starting to drench all of God’s creation. The coolness of night being displaced by the warmth of the sun. There is hope. There is life. There is new creation. There was life and beauty the whole time in the darkness of night. It was there. Resting. The purple flowers. They were there. Containing the gentle fragrance that is activated in the warmth of the sun. Morning. To be at peace as the day begins. To have time to reflect. Gain perspective on the day. The world is not out to get me. I have You. You found me. You sought me. You have asked if You could protect me. Bless me. Guard me. Keep me. Give me joy. You desired me. You desire me. So in this morning, I am blessed. By Your warmth that clears the fog and ice crystals from my heart. By Your grace that I am held in. Held under the waterfall of your grace and kindness until every part of me is drenched in the unearned, undeserved, but lavishly gifted, love of my Father, my Creator. Morning. How I love the warm embrace of Your sun. How I delight in Your rest. Peace. A new day has come. The sun is coming up.

(This was written as an exercise in class. It came from reflecting on a picture of an English cottage with a beautiful garden with purple flowers. The sun is in the process of painting everything in light. I will post the picture when I find it.)

So It's Been a While

I haven't written in quite some time. That's rather sad actually... disappointing even. I enjoy writing. Especially when I can just write in my flow of thought. Which can be quite random at times.

So I'm going back to school starting in the middle of September. Ashland Theological Seminary. I know, right? Some of you are probably thinking that it is about time. I completely disagree. Up to this point, I really had no desire to go to seminary. In the time since college, I have contemplated many several career paths. Lawyer, financial planner, teacher, youth pastor, young adult pastor, church planter... Heck, I even thought about taking over my dad's business!

But here I am.

Seminary.

For those of you not familiar, no, I am not going to be a priest. It is simply graduate school for ministers/pastors. But it is certainly a big step in the direction of occupational ministry. I'm not exactly sure what that looks like. I mean, I know what ministry looks like. I just don't know what direction I want to move in.

I was really challenged at the this festival called Breathe down in Columbus. It's put on by Joshua House, the twenty-something community of the Columbus Vineyard. Thirteen of us from our Tues. night Bible study group went down. But while I was there, I went to a breakout session for church planters. In it, I heard Jay Pathak, a pastor of the Vineyard church out in Arvada, Colorado, talk about his experience planting a church. And what type of person it takes to plant a church. And I was so challenged but something deep in my heart really wanted to be like that. To have a consistency to the level that I share Jesus with people. The hope of being restored to God, not on our good deeds, but because Jesus restored our lives by his life and death. To consistently lead people who don't know Jesus to knowing Jesus. And to then disciple them. And then raise them up as leaders, walking in the shape and character and calling that they were created for. This to me sounds like the most exciting of lives. Truly. That is what I want.

I'm not sure if I am going to plant a church. But I am sure that I want this faith of mine, this all encompassing relationship with God that I have to begin to make more of a difference in the world that I call my life. Not necessarily at this point making disciples of all nations. Maybe just living out authentic faith in front of those that call me friend, co-worker, employee, brother, son, and uncle.

So I'm going to Ashland Seminary starting in September. Don't have the job situation figured out yet. I'm going full-time in October. Working part-time. Yet I am sure of this, "that I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living."

Journeying with God has its ways of stretching you. Stretching you in ways that you never would have thought that you could be. But as it begins to happen, at least for me, I come to realize that this is what I have been asking for. This uncomfortable, unfamiliar place is leading me to what I have always wanted. I can say that I feel like I am becoming more of the man that God has shaped me to be. And I am happy with that.

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. - Lamentations 3:22

Another Panera Morning

(One of a few uncompleted blog posts. I finally posted this on 1.11.11)

You ever hear something; small like a whisper but clear enough and loud enough to know with certainty what you've heard?

I did this morning. I heard the word "fire."

1 Kings 19

Elijah Flees to Sinai

¹ When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal. ² So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah: “May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them.”

³ Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. ⁴ Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”

⁵ Then he lay down and slept under the broom tree. But as he was sleeping, an angel touched him and told him, “Get up and eat!” ⁶ He looked around and there beside his head was some bread baked on hot stones and a jar of water! So he ate and drank and lay down again.

⁷ Then the angel of the Lord came again and touched him and said, “Get up and eat some more, or the journey ahead will be too much for you.”

⁸ So he got up and ate and drank, and the food gave him enough strength to travel forty days and forty nights to Mount Sinai,^{a]" style="line-height: 0.5em;">[a]} the mountain of God. ⁹ There he came to a cave, where he spent the night.

The Lord Speaks to Elijah

But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

¹⁰ Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”

¹¹ “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.

And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

The Chiropractor

chiropractic |ˌkīrəˈpraktik|nouna system of complementary medicine based on the diagnosis and manipulative treatment misalignments of the joints, esp. those of the spinal column, which are held to cause other disorders by affecting the nerves, muscles, and organs.
So as I was typing the title, I suddenly realized I was unsure of the spelling of said word. So I highlighted it, held Control and clicked on it. I then chose Look up in Dictionary. And the above definition came up. It doesn't have a real significant meaning. That's not why I included it with this entry.
What is important is that my back has really been bothering me, and I feel that I am on the road to recovery. Mostly because someone who knows more than I AND can do something about it is now working on the problem. It's amazing how that no longer is an issue that worries me. I feel like I have put it Dr. Colvin's hands and I am golden. As I left his office today, I felt like I was walking taller, standing straighter, and overall feeling more optimistic. I find it intriguing how so many factors play into how I feel. Physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and all the other "-al's.
In other news, I am just finishing up my essay questions for seminary in the fall. I'm pretty excited but also a bit nervous. I honestly don't think it has hit me yet that in a few short months I will be in school again for an unspecified amount of time. I had a friend recently ask me if I really wanted to spend 7 years going to grad school part time. I had honestly never thought about that. 144 hours. Each class an average of 4 hours. This is 36 classes roughly. They are on quarters. If I go to school for four quarters, two classes a quarter, I will finish in 4 1/2 years. This is the end of 2013. If I take a quarter off every now and again, this extends even further. Hmm... So we will see. We will see.
I'm sure it will hit me when I realize that the amount of free time I used to have was enormous compared to what I will have this fall. Margin. Add more to life. Add margin. Take classes. Margin. Seminary. Margin.
Somehow this must fit together.
Somehow.

An Old Pro

Sometimes I forget that God is an old pro at watching over and helping guide my life.

I am a firm believer that I can choose to do my own thing, apart from the wisdom and counsel of His Spirit.

Maybe too much so.

Or maybe I don't take seriously enough the depth of which He understands me and is still able to draw me back to going the right direction.

I miss details.

He doesn't.

What is the verse in Matthew? Something about He sees every sparrow that falls from the sky, has every hair on my head numbered; do I really think He is going to forget something even if I do?

But what if He just lets me forget?

What if I just totally miss something? Then what?

And then I reflect. I reflect on all the times that I missed a step in the journey of life, the times where I forgot to do something or had a poor attitude or simply skipped passed an opportunity to show someone love. You know what?

It has always worked out.

Maybe not perfectly. Maybe not, well certainly not, the way I thought it would have. But the key for me is this:

The world did not end.

Nope. Sure didn't.

And the journey continues.