A Day

Do you ever have one of those days that at the end you think, "This is the day the Lord has made, but I certainly made it stressful."

Slowing down is a foreign concept to me I think. I envy those of you who can stop at any time and take it all in. That has to be a conscious decision for me. And once I make the decision to slow down, even that is a process. I think that is why I enjoy writing and blogging. It let's me just let everything out of my mind that I have been stressing out about. I am realizing though that I place most of the stress on myself. It really isn't external at all.

Margin.

It is a magic word. One that I first read about concisely in a devotional by Rick Warren. There is a Purpose Drive Life Devotional e-mail that I get everyday. It was in there. I find it humorous how one minute I can be reading one author, then the next minute another author who would probably have never imagined they would be read by the same person. Ahh well.

But margin. I think it means giving yourself intentional space. Intentional space. That is such a strange concept. I guess I figure there is always something that I should be doing. Something that I put off from earlier (and that is very likely the case).

But I was listening to a message by Jonathan Rue from the Columbus Vineyard about wasting time on Jesus. That life is about relationships. It's about God. It's about people. And our priorities should align around that. So if something else gets undone because I am just laying on my bed talking to God, that's okay. If I have clothes that need put away but I have not slowed down all day, maybe I should go lay in my hammock and chill out. If I have the choice when people are over to listen to their story or just talk, that would probably be a better idea than making sure each dish is cleaned in the sink. Seriously.

So that's what I want. To know how to rest. To have margin. And to just sit at Jesus' feet and listen. Not thinking about what else I have to do. To just hear His voice and the wisdom that is so incredible. Have you noticed how smart God is? Incredible. Or how nice He is? I mean really. He surprises me each time I screw up. So kind. When I can feel Him (and I know that sounds weird to some of you) and the peace that comes that I don't have all the answers to life. And that's actually really exciting.

Margin.

It allows me to have time to Think. Process. Pray. Worship. Rest.

And now all I need to do is implement it....

Just Getting Home

I went up to the Indians game tonight. They were playing the Red Sox. I got a pretty sweet deal on these tickets because it is early in the season. Andy, Ben, and my brother, Justin, went up with me as well. We grabbed some dinner at Flannery's, my pre-game favorite. It's an Irish Pub right by the Q and Progressive Field. Had some Irish boxty. Excellent.

Well as you can see I am just getting home from a 7:05 pm game. It went into extra innings and completed around 11:00 pm. The Indians lost. Good times though but long day. No spinning class for me in the morning. 5:30 am will come way to early, so if I move that time to say 6:30-6:45 then it will come later. Not 5:30, because it comes at the same time... at 5:30 am. But the time I need to wake up. That I can change.

I am rambling and I am signing off. Good night.

An Evening of Events

(This is one of many incomplete blogs that I finally posted on 1.11.11)

Recently I attended Joshua House, the twenty-something community of the Columbus Vineyard. It was a good time. I always love going down there. They don't have everything together just like none of us do. They don't do everything right, just like no church does, but it is a good place. Did I mention I always enjoy going down there. I think the word is relaxing or recharging. It might not even be the place. Maybe it's just a place where I get lost in the sea of 700 young adults. That's kind of nice sometimes. But...

I have to be honest. This blog really isn't about that night, though it was a good time. God very much spoke truths into my heart and the guy that prayed with me up front was really genuine. I have no idea what his name his but he was a good dude.

But the revelation

The Segway Into Blogging

So a funny thought ran through my head as I started to type my first blog here. And it goes like this...

"How will anyone know that I even have a blog here?"

"And who will read it?"

"Do I have to self-promote myself?"

"Do I blog so that someone will read it or would that completely destroy the illusion of being a freethinker just putting my thoughts out there?"

I feel that by someone simply reading the above questions, you have a small insight into my soul. My psyche. My humanity. My created-ness. And by reading the pass few statements you have learned that I like words. I do. Words are a good time.

I'm not exactly sure what this blog is for except for a good place for me to unwind. And by unwind I don't mean at the end of a rough day. I mean I am coming to grips with the fact that I can be a pretty tightly wound. In all areas of life really. Religion. Relationships. R.... I don't have any more R words but I could say life in general. Not much give. Not much flexibility.

But that is changing. Well, yeah, it is changing. Slowly. But that's a good pace. I know when I try to unwind Christmas lights, the faster I try to go the more knots I create. Patience is the key to unwinding a set of Christmas lights from the previous year. I suppose that unwinding a person is very similar. Jesus would be a great one to help me with unwinding Christmas lights.

"Slow down. Rome wasn't built in a day."

My response would be, "But You spoke and things appeared."

And God's response might be, "Well you aren't me."

That's fair. I mean, that's a fair response on God's part. I'm not Him. I don't need to try to get everything done today, especially trying to unwind and untie all the knots in me. And because God wants us to learn and to be transformed through process, so that it's lasting, He takes His time with us, with me.

Have you ever noticed, for those of you who grew up in church or leading in a church, how easy it is to turn something about you into a more inclusive statement. Re-read the previous paragraph. That last sentence turned into "us" from "me." Bamm! No, Matt, at this point in time, it is about you and your journey. Not our journey. Once again, fair enough. These are the conversations that I have with God and myself. Sometimes just with myself. Sometimes just with God.

Well I'm done. Peace out.